Blood

So, I decided to give blood today. It was my second time, and I am proudly sporting the "Be nice to me, I gave blood today!" sticker. One of my goals has been to be a habitual-every-8-week donor, and it looks like I'm working my way up to that nicely.  Two units down, umpteen more to go.  This is, of course, dependent on not getting tattoos which may throw the donation schedule off (and likely will if my plans carry out). I feel really good having donated blood which could help several people out. Check out more info about blood donation and blood drives at the givelife.org website.

Anyway,  today's experience was interesting.  I made several observations, most of which are assumptions, but still make life interesting. First, I think maybe that I was in the system as male because when I had to (reluctantly) state that I was female, the intake person pressed a button on the keyboard. When the paperwork was printed, there was an asterisk next to the "F" as if it had been changed. Then, I sit in the chair and the girl who I assume is going to be taking my blood says to the other one "hand me his file".  As it turns out, she must have been going on break or something so another girl came to take over.  This second one started to wipe something off of all the bags (for blood collection) and the first goes "what are you getting rid of that "M" for?" "Because we don't need it" was the response. I can only assume that this was a gender marker? I don't know how the blood collection stuff is classified but that is my guess.

Plus, I'm not sure...but I lied during my history about shots in the last 8 weeks. I don't think taking testosterone should be a problem but I didn't want to chance it. I need to look more into this. I just felt bad about lying. Oh well.

Okay, I need to get to work. This is being posted by email.
-r.a.r.

04.26.09

I've had a really great weekend. Busy and yet lazy at the same time. My days have been pretty filled, but I've managed to stay in both Friday and Saturday nights. I think I needed it -- to recharge. I've been feeling very tired the last week or so - like, I'm actually sleeping in which isn't usual. Could this be a hormonal thing? I suppose it could be.

Random things:
-my thighs may be getting hairier.
-same goes for my chinny chin
-i noticed my hairline looked different today,but it was also immediately after waking up with no glasses on.haha
- I like looking in the mirror without my glasses on; this has been the case for a long while.
-Names are hard and I'm still very much in distress over figuring this one out.
-I need to be better at documenting my journey I think.

This blog post is not very fun, I realize.

parting words (at least for now)

Dear L,

I know that recently it seems like I've been pushing you away...it's just that I'm not sure how to keep you in my life right now. I know that you're scared to leave. I'm scared too - scared of losing you forever, afraid of not being able to live up to your reputation with your family and friends, and terrified that I will become unrecognizable to you and everyone else I know. I don't want you to go away forever, but right now, I need my space. And I need some distance from you. I can feel you holding on, not wanting to let go - but for me to take this chance and leap of faith, i need you to as well. Though we must diverge as I make my journey, I have confidence that we will meet up again down the road and travel together again. Maybe by then, you won't be just a sad girl named happiness and I won't be such a lost little boy. I'm going through so many changes right now, and I want to be able to enjoy them and take it all in as I'm living it and so I have to stop worrying about you so much. I know that's not my style. So for now, "so long" -- I'll think of you often as I carve out my own path.

Love always,
R.A.R.

OFFICIALLY official

So, it's officially official. I will be going to Maryland next year for medical school.

I realize that I've been telling most of you this for several weeks (months?), but it is now officially official! I finally withdrew from CMS at Rosalind Franklin University today. It was the only school that I still hadn't removed my name from. And, after several weeks of nervousness and horrific thinking that once I withdrew I'd find out the I'd actually imagined getting accepted and holding a spot at maryland, I finally took care of it. GO me! and, i made my self-imposed deadline too.

YAY!

Now, onto worrying about financial stuff. meh.

Shot #3

The second I've given myself. This one did not go as smoothly as the first one even though my stress levels were WAY lower. Could it be because of the cross-body action? This week was in the left leg and I am right-handed. Do I have the gusto to try doing it left-handed next time? Or, was it just the fact that the needle was too dull? I ended up switching needles cause my first attempt I couldn't seem to break the skin. But, was it the needle being dull or me being apprehensive? Good question. Also, had some post-injection leakage this time. For real this time and not-imagined. I may ask about this and try doing the z-track method I've heard about. I also need to ask about proper needle disposal. I should probably have a biohazard/sharps container or something. For now, a used water bottle will have to do.

Other observations: I don't know if it's related as I only have 2 previous times to go by, but it seems that the last few days before I am due for a shot, I get really tired. I think the release time is 7-10 days, so this makes sense. I am gonna keep an eye on this pattern and see if it persists. I'm hoping that my period doesn't come this month. I was really wishful last month but it came right after my 2nd shot. meh. Exactly NOT what I wanted to deal with.

I was surprised yesterday by the discovery of the amount of change in certain regions. That is all I will say about that. I'm noticing more hair (the blondy peachfuzzy kind) on my face - but, was it there before and I just didn't notice or is it new? Appetite is still low but more normal than it was the first 3 weeks. This is all I can think of for now. I should start posting pics eventually.